Why is raising children so difficult ? That was the big question brought up on Wednesday , Oct . 15 by participants looking for tips to help them become better parents .

Bill Corbett , founder of the Cooperative Kids program , spoke to a captive audience at his seminar called , “ No I Won’t and You Can’t Make Me . ”

His methodology is designed to teach parents how to discipline their children effectively , and to help parents to understand why their child acts out in the first place . “ Yelling , bribing , and punishing tend to be natural parental reactions to a child’s misbehavior . But they are not effective forms of discipline , ” said Corbett .

Corbett has stylized his methodology around the teachings of child psychologist , Rudolf Drieker who emphasized , “ You cannot discipline a child until youunderstand why they’re acting out . No one ever taught us , as parents , how to do that , ” said Corbett

Shannon Roberto is a single mom and lives with her three children in Enfield . She admits that things aren’t always easy around her household , “ We all struggle . I have a daughter with ADHD , so I’m always looking for new methods , ” she said . She liked Corbett’s way of incorporating love and respect to guide children in the right direction .

Some tips provided by Corbett for what he calls “ preventative-style” discipline include setting limits , choosing yourbattles , using distractions , and being direct when telling yourchild to do something . Some of these suggestions parents may have some trouble with .

One challenge in particular was the idea of limiting electronic stimulation . “ You’ve got to limit electronic entertainment . That includes television , Nintendo , and the computer , ” said Corbett . He assured parents that if they followed through with his one hour a day electronics time , they would see a big change in their kids . Their kids will become more active , want to engage in creative projects , and use their imaginations to create play .

Corbett challenged parents to teach their children how to say “ no” appropriately . He explained that if they don’t learn how to say “ no” as a child they’ll never be able to say it in the future , as an adult when they may really need to .

As far as answering the question , why do children misbehave , Corbett explained that many times when a child acts out they are doing so because they crave routine attention from their parents . “ Children need boundaries . They need firmness , routine , and structure , ” he said .

Another reason that children may misbehave is because of their need and desire to explore the world they live in . Children want to learn and discover , and according to Corbett , they just need guidance to do so . There is also an issue when it comes to communication between parent and child . Children want to tell us , ‘ slow down and see me’ , ” said Corbett . He suggested to parents to just spend time with their children , without speaking , and let them talk and be heard , without interruptions .

Cathy and Matthew Miranda are Enfield residents and are the parents of five children . They have attended parenting classes in the past , but they were particularly impressed with Corbett’s emphasis on respecting children . “ Our kids are little , but they are five different people who deserve to have their voices heard , ” said Cathy .

Corbett also recognized that sometimes parents need a “ time-out” too . He explained that there is no denying that it can get frustrating and upsetting being a parent sometimes . Therefore it’s better for everybody if the parent can find a place in the house that is their own “ time-out” area . That way they can relax , calm down , and re-group .

Tammy Muska of Windsor Locks has two children and she is a child care provider . She was very motivated by what Corbett had to say . “ The idea of loving guidance really stuck out . I also can appreciate the concept of quieting myself , ” she said .

Corbett encouraged parents to keep up with his methods and look forward to the changes in their children’s behavior . “ You have the power to change and altar yourchild’s future just by using yourparenting skills , ” he said .