Why is raising children so difficult? That was the big question brought up on Wednesday, Oct. 15 by participants looking for tips to help them become better parents.

Bill Corbett, founder of the Cooperative Kids program, spoke to a captive audience at his seminar called, “No I Won’t and You Can’t Make Me.”

His methodology is designed to teach parents how to discipline their children effectively, and to help parents to understand why their child acts out in the first place. “Yelling, bribing, and punishing tend to be natural parental reactions to a child’s misbehavior. But they are not effective forms of discipline,” said Corbett.

Corbett has stylized his methodology around the teachings of child psychologist , Rudolf Drieker who emphasized, “You cannot discipline a child until you understand why they’re acting out. No one ever taught us, as parents, how to do that,” said Corbett

Shannon Roberto is a single mom and lives with her three children in Enfield. She admits that things aren’t always easy around her household, “We all struggle. I have a daughter with ADHD, so I’m always looking for new methods ,” she said. She liked Corbett’s way of incorporating love and respect to guide children in the right direction.

Some tips provided by Corbett for what he calls “preventative-style” discipline include setting limits, choosing your battles, using distractions, and being direct when telling your child to do something. Some of these suggestions parents may have some trouble with.

One challenge in particular was the idea of limiting electronic stimulation. “You’ve got to limit electronic entertainment . That includes television, Nintendo, and the computer,” said Corbett . He assured parents that if they followed through with his one hour a day electronics time, they would see a big change in their kids. Their kids will become more active, want to engage in creative projects, and use their imaginations to create play.

Corbett challenged parents to teach their children how to say “no” appropriately . He explained that if they don’t learn how to say “no” as a child they’ll never be able to say it in the future, as an adult when they may really need to.

As far as answering the question, why do children misbehave, Corbett explained that many times when a child acts out they are doing so because they crave routine attention from their parents . “Children need boundaries. They need firmness, routine, and structure,” he said.

Another reason that children may misbehave is because of their need and desire to explore the world they live in. Children want to learn and discover, and according to Corbett, they just need guidance to do so. There is also an issue when it comes to communication between parent and child. Children want to tell us, ‘slow down and see me’ ,” said Corbett. He suggested to parents to just spend time with their children, without speaking, and let them talk and be heard, without interruptions.

Cathy and Matthew Miranda are Enfield residents and are the parents of five children. They have attended parenting classes in the past, but they were particularly impressed with Corbett’s emphasis on respecting children. “Our kids are little, but they are five different people who deserve to have their voices heard,” said Cathy.

Corbett also recognized that sometimes parents need a “time-out” too. He explained that there is no denying that it can get frustrating and upsetting being a parent sometimes. Therefore it’s better for everybody if the parent can find a place in the house that is their own “time-out” area. That way they can relax, calm down, and re-group .

Tammy Muska of Windsor Locks has two children and she is a child care provider . She was very motivated by what Corbett had to say. “The idea of loving guidance really stuck out. I also can appreciate the concept of quieting myself ,” she said.

Corbett encouraged parents to keep up with his methods and look forward to the changes in their children’s behavior . “You have the power to change and altar your child’s future just by using your parenting skills,” he said.