According to the parent educator Bill Corbett , parenting with little or no talking can make a positive difference in the way parents communicate with their children . Corbett shared his philosophy on Jan . 27 with a room full of parents looking for a new way to discipline and connect with their kids .

Corbett’s workshop is based on his own experiences as a father of three , a parent educator and professional speaker . He has written a book , called “ Love , Limits and Lessons – A Parent’s Guide to Raising Cooperative Kids , ” which he is now sharing with local parents .

The title of the workshop , held at Somers Congregational Church , was “ No I Won’t and You Can’t Make Me !” and began with Corbett sharing his own background . He grew up in a violent household in the era where agencies weren’t there to intervene when there was domestic violence . “ I knew what not to do as a father , but I also didn’t know what to do either , ” Corbett admitted . “ When I was a youngdad , there was no parenting bookshelf in the store , and the few books they had were dry like flour . ”

As a single dad in 1982 , Corbett found himself with his 2-year-old daughter in a constant power struggle , and like many parents , not knowing what to do about it . He read and followed the teachings of a social psychologist Rudolph Dreikurs , who believed the main purpose of humans was belonging and acceptance by others and to stimulate cooperative behavior without reward or punishment .

Corbett brought along his “ toolbox ” that held his props for showing parents what he knew to be their old standby utensils for getting children to behave . He pulled out a jumbo playing card aptly called “ the guilt card , ” a paddle for spanking , a plastic ice cream cone to symbolize bribery , demonstrated yellingand screaming , and then the ever popular “ time-out , ” which he said should be used only for out-of-control children , or else it will lose its effect .

Corbett said that children need to be able to explore , but the parents must allow them to do it in safe ways . He used an example of a boy who wants to jump on the couch . He said that instead of just saying the child can’t jump on the couch , it would be a good idea to put cushions in an area that is not dangerous so the child can still do what they’re wired to do . “ You want to let yourchild know who’s driving the plane , ” Corbett said . “ And they will test you, but with loving guidance , they can be redirected to good behavior . ”

Corbett used volunteers in the group to show how to understand why children act the way they do . His animated demonstrations of what a child might say in order to not pick up a toy or do a chore made the group understand in a light-hearted way . He displayed slides showing the different emotions that are often evoked when a child behaves badly . They ranged from hurt , to pity , to anger , and the solution he offered as advice was to use one word firmly and lovingly to remind them of what they have to do , and walk away . “ Children want youto react , ” Corbett said , and the more a parent reacts , the more the child will continue to misbehave .

Corbett said that he is in the business of parenting , even if it means the house isn’t clean , and believes that children need undivided attention . He also said that a little bit of strong parenting goes a long way .

To learn more about Bill Corbett and his parenting workshops , visit his Web site www . CooperativeKids . com .